Deliver Us From Workplace Woodchip
by Nick Cernis | 10 November 2008
This post talks about the long-overdue need for workplace redecoration, and features the wit of Oscar Wilde, borrowed wisdom from Stephen Fry, and talk of fearsome bird wallpaper.
The revolution
15 years ago a revolution started in people’s homes. Practically overnight, it began to shape their daily lives, remove any hope of a spare half hour, and transform public holidays into an excellent excuse to buy a laser-guided circular saw and use it to open baked bean cans.
I am, of course, referring to the international superbug called “home improvement” which seems to have infected us all like a sad kind of collective sniffle.
The woodchip blues
There is a dark well of irony to be found in dedicating every free hour to stripping 40 square metres of woodchip wallpaper, only to replace it with something much more ‘fashionable’; in our house, this means endless reams of fearsome black birds, every last one of which would perch more comfortably in a celluloid aviary from Alfred Hitchcock.
Personal feelings about wallpaper fashions aside, many of us continue to delight in refining our warped interior visions and in tweaking our living spaces, forever terrified that a fussy friend may shriek in disgust at the light fixing in the coat cupboard that we’ve neglected to ‘update’ since last Wednesday, when — between the hours of seven and eleven only — Tiffany shades were once again in vogue.
Worse still is the unique breed of man who always seems to possess more power tools than me. “What do you mean you don’t own an angle grinder?” he’ll say. ”It’s no wonder your taps are dripping.” Bemused and dejected, I’ll slink into a corner and search for the meaning of life in a discarded Rawlplug, while Mr Tool Guy thumbs excitedly through a copy of Arc Welders Weekly, blinded by the superheated air of promise at the thought of joining two bits of discarded metal together.
The joy of the new
Silliness aside, when the sawdust settles and the off-white paint finally dries, the results are often glorious: our homes are transformed from their dingy grottoes of yesteryear and we can rest at last, content that, while we may have spent tens of thousands on ‘improvements’ and are still not sure about the purple cushions, at least the people we sell the house to will writhe in sweet ecstasy at the prospect of ripping it all down and starting again.
So why does the simple cyclic act of redecoration cause such addiction and create such contentment? Without even looking, I found answers in the words of the late Oscar Wilde, delivered in a podcast by the great Stephen Fry.
Ugly wallpaper
On a visit to the USA in the 19th century, not long after The American Civil War, Oscar Wilde was asked why he thought America was so violent:
“I can tell you exactly why,” he said. “It’s because your wallpaper is so ugly.”
While many would venture that this was a pretentious remark from a man who wore velvet with an air of unholy abandon, Stephen Fry advises otherwise. In his third podgram, he suggests that Wilde was hinting at something more:
“If you’re someone who is surrounded by badly made, ugly things, then you think ugly thoughts of yourself and the world; you think ugly thoughts of your whole species. There is nothing for you to do to but to crap in your own nest. It’s what we do when we don’t believe in ourselves.”
Crapping in the corporate nest
And so, we come to the point:
The idea that our environment shapes our health, happiness, and our quality of life is not a new one, but the desire to decorate our surroundings seems to have fallen short of the dull grey walls of the workplace. While our homes have undergone a radical revamp and our neighbourhoods are blessed with gentle gentrification, our office environments haven’t changed much for 30 years.
Today, most of us are putting up with badly designed, ugly excuses for working spaces. And yet, many of them stable us for our entire adult lives. In accepting the sad, dull, boxed-in offices — the workplace woodchip, if you will — we’re crapping in our own corporate nests. It’s affecting our health, personal wellbeing, and job satisfaction, and it’s about bloody time for a change.
Deliver us from woodchip
I’m not suggesting that repainting your office alone is enough to transform your working life and make you fall in love with you job, but, for heaven’s sake, it couldn’t do much harm. If home improvement can transform our lives and build a thousand supporting micro-industries, imagine what “work improvement” could do for us all. How about an office that perked you up instead of put you down; bosses who cheer instead of chastise?
Over the next few weeks, I’ll be mixing in some hints and tips to start a workplace revolution, using examples from companies and small businesses who are already free of the dreary workplace woodchip: the cubicles and other hopeless clichés. You’ll see how it’s changed the way they work and how it’s made some of them fall in love with their jobs again. You’ll also get some tips for talking your way around difficult bosses or budgets.
Whether you work at home or in a corporate megaplex, I’ve got something lined up for you that will boost your productivity and happiness, so subscribe for free and see you again soon.
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10 Nov 08
17:11
Iain Broome
You’re absolutely right, you know.
Our previous office was, well, it was okay. But since moving in January to a sexy new workspace, I’ve found my productivity has really improved.
It’s just a nice play to be, with nice people to boot*. It makes me want to work harder. Cos I’m proud of it, like.
* Not literally, of course.
10 Nov 08
20:11
Charfish Charlie
I went shopping for a laptop over the weekend, needing a cheapo PC to do site-testing on and such.
First I went to Best Buy, a large electronics department store. Laptops, TVs, Xboxes…the works. They didn’t have what I wanted but I liked it there, especially ’cause they let me play Guitar Hero while punching children who were trying to get in on my game.
So I went to Circuit City, which is the basically the twin brother of Best Buy. Same products, really. The only difference is that Circuit City looks like Satan’s workshop. It was dirty, mucky and smelled liked the carpet had been laying around in a pasture with a herd of well-fed cows.
It’s no surprise that they also had a “Going out of business” sign out front.
Yeah…appearances matter. A comfy space is good for you, and good for your customers as well.
10 Nov 08
21:11
Hayley
Oi! I resent that! I feel that I must fight my exquisitely decorated corner here.
The birds are not ‘fearsome’ or from the realms of Hitchcock, and if you think that, you must be of a particularly delicate disposition! Those who are intrigued can check the design out here: http://tinyurl.com/57vwnh - we have a turquoise, silver and black variation.
As for offices, I agree that most are dull as dishwater, and I have found the greyness to be particularly overwhelming in may so-called ‘creative’ work spaces - apparently some bosses feel that creative = messy, and ‘inspiration’ is untidy.
I’m glad that we managed to overcome this in our home-office, though I’m surprised you didn’t berate the pinkness earlier: http://tinyurl.com/68za36
xx
10 Nov 08
22:11
Ian
It’s funny. I never realized how nicely decorated my current office is until I began interviewing at other places the past couple of months. One of the biggest turn-offs at several of the places was the corporate “grime” of the offices. The stuffiness and lack of comfort. Cubicle farms = bad feng shui.
11 Nov 08
00:11
Lisbeth Tanz
Nick, you’ve stumbled upon a vast ugly corporate secret: keeping the workspace unattractive and boring results in drone-like automatons who show up, do something that remotely looks like work and then leave promptly when allowed. A way to keep employees behaving? Hmmmm.
Having worked in ugly spaces, my only salvation was my penchant for redecorating every 6 months. Which usually also meant moving things around. I was fortunate that my ex-husband was agreeable to my need for visual change. It was, however, just a ruse on my part. I hated my job. But, for a few months, “new” surroundings made things feel a bit better. Better, that is, until I exhausted all arrangement possibilities. Then, the only thing left to do was quit. Which I promptly did.
Surroundings matter more than people admit or understand. This doesn’t mean ping pong tables and lounge pits - but it does mean spaces that reflect the individual and provide solitude and safety from the vicious workplace.
This is probably why I work from home now for myself. :)
Great post!
11 Nov 08
06:11
Jarkko Laine
Great post!
The funny thing is that at my current office, they actually tried to decorate by painting some of the walls in bright colors - someone even went all the way and bought a plastic leaf from IKEA’s children’s department.
The biggest problem still remains: the desks. The mess that two computers with all of their cables creates is something terrible… And you’re right. When you feel that there is nothing you can do to make the desk look tidy and nice, you start making it even messier. Dirty dishes start piling up, and soon you can’t even find your computer cables.
I’m looking forward to your tips and ideas. Maybe there is something a regular employee can do to spice up his own desk without requiring a complete office remake.
11 Nov 08
16:11
Harrison McLeod
I’m all about a comfy and visually pleasing workspace.
I do have to say that having a weld inspector/structural engineer for a roommate doesn’t hurt either. When we expanded the home office the two of us came up with some pretty good ideas for desks (unistrut to support shelves and desktops and a retired ‘76 Harley parked - and still leaking - in a corner of the office).
Power tools? Yeah, we got’em. They’re helpful, but not always necessary. A little creativity goes a long way.
13 Nov 08
22:11
Kelly
Nick,
One of my favorite topics, of course. I totally agree, your workplace surroundings have a huge impact on everything from how much effort you put in to the attitude you give to customers when they have the misfortune to wander in to your place of business. I can hardly wait to see what you’ve got in store for this series.
And, um, having seen the calmer colorway, but being of fair imagination to translate it into turquoise, silver, and black…
Please, when you have your first annual 44forks dinner soirée, don’t have it at home.
Ahem.
Regards,
Kelly
13 Nov 08
23:11
Hayley
@Kelly - Haha, it’s not the whole room, just one wall, and that’s the bedroom anyway.
The dining area, by contrast, is a lovely shade of bare plaster, befitting of a Royal dinner…
…as long as they keep their eyes closed.
14 Nov 08
11:11
Nick Cernis
@Iain Broome - It really is amazing the difference it can make, isn’t it? Working with great people can be a huge boost too, of course, but it’s a little harder to switch the more garish employees out for less offensive ones every season.
Unless you’re the boss.
@Charfish Charlie - Your parallel with the shop floor is a good one. I think more companies could benefit from hiring office designers and shop fitters; even those whose workspaces aren’t customer-facing. Employees are people too. Or so they say.
@Hayley - I confess: I’ve grown used to it; my ill feelings towards overpowering wallpaper have mostly gone. The nightmares haven’t, though. All those beaks and fluttering wings. It’s a wonder it hasn’t driven me stark raving bonkers by now.
Oh, wait…
@Ian - “Corporate grime” is a very fitting way of putting it, and applies equally well to the office environment as it does to many of its inhabitants. I think you’re right to say that most people who haven’t switched jobs regularly don’t realise what they’re putting up with. I hope to showcase some great office spaces so people know what they’re missing!
@Lisbeth Tanz - Ha! It’s interesting how it becomes a comfort at first, isn’t it? I can see how redecoration could be used as a substitute for just bailing out and finding a nicer work environment altogether. It’s certainly a danger, although my feeling is that the long-term benefits for general office improvement are probably worthwhile. I completely agree that sprucing up your office will never turn around a job you’re not happy in, though.
Nothing beats working from home for me. Being able to decorate your office however you wish is a blessing. Not only that, but you get to choose your view: we put ours on the top floor facing the sunsets. Working late should have its benefits!
@Jarkko Laine - I had hoped that in our brave wireless world there would be less cables on my desk but, sadly, the opposite is true. Until they give us wireless power, which sounds lethal at best, I fear the cables are here to stay.
I do have some ideas for desk solutions that I’ll share, though, as it’s one of the most important spaces in the office.
@Harrison McLeod - Industrial desks! I can imagine you now, sitting amongst the shrapnel, ready to pull down your welding mask for another day’s hard coding.
@Kelly - The calmer colourway that Hayley generously embarrassed me by linking to doesn’t really do the paper justice, in fairness. For our version, picture if you dare an explosion in a soft mint commercial caused by an onslaught of agitated magpies. Frame the whole thing with a Hitchcockian dolly zoom and sprinkle on a fairly liberal dash of eau de regrette and you’ll probably be about halfway there.
14 Nov 08
12:11
Kelly
Nick,
LOL, LOL…
In the three hours of sleep I got last night, I had that dream. The eau de regrette I remember distinctly…
I don’t want to start any trouble in paradise, but I think Oscar Wilde (one of my fave dudes) would have to rethink his stance on Americans if he witnessed such a blot on he Empire on which the sun never sets.
Until later,
Kelly
14 Nov 08
12:11
Kelly
… the Empire…
Three hours of sleep, y’know.
26 Nov 08
11:11
Steve
I used to work in a Woodchip Workplace - in my first apartment, with the computer shoved in a corner of the living room. When I bought a house, I made sure my office was full of creative stimulus…
http://stevespatucci.com/office
It makes a huge difference in getting work done, just because it’s so nice to be surrounded by all the stuff I love, and that inspires me.