Step Zero: Smite Your Inbox Gremlins For Good
written by Nick Cernis on July 4th, 2008
If Inbox Heaven was the main feature, then this post is the popcorn.
It shares Step Zero — an easy way to smite your email nasties that even Uncle Zeus could handle.
Whether your daily inbox counter reads five or 500, this post will help you to simplify and enjoy the art of email. Please digg it and tell your imaginary virtual friends.
My inbox gremlins
Since starting Put Things Off, my incoming email has almost doubled month-by-month for six months running; for each email I received in December 2007, I get nearly 60 today. Somehow, I’m still smiling.
The influx is partly due to the PR companies that, for reasons known only to purveyors of marmalade ice cream and life’s other great illusionists, see me as the ideal vehicle to carry their buzz about automatic cheese graters (no joke) to an audience of intellectually-gifted procrastinators. It seems I have become a Champion of Cheddar overnight, for the volume of uninvited mail I receive from cheese companies is now more frightening than flattering.
Other messages are easier to respond to but tougher to comprehend. While I won’t name the kind soul who wrote to ask what type of pencil sharpener I use, such ditties from the unhealthily curious often have me seesawing between fits of giggles and frantic additions to home security, lest someone with a spare evening, a cat suit and a crowbar becomes dangerously interested in the brand of nut cracker I own and decides to go straight to the source (two cupboards in, third drawer down).
Deserted islands
Secretly, I take a deep pleasure in email. It would, without doubt, be one of the few things on my desert island disk drive.
Whether the subject is Stilton or stationery, there is a simple joy in being touched electronically by another human soul with a question, comment, or unexpected offer of free cake. It’s why, to some extent, all of us are guilty of checking for new mail or text messages more than is productive. But — when it comes to sharing our thoughts, questions and brand loyalty with a fellow being — productivity can just piss off. Laid-back chit chat is life’s most fundamental treasure. Bury it deep and burn the map.
Email outsourcery
Given my love of email, it may surprise you to hear that I’ve flirted with the idea of outsourcing my inbox to one of the growing number of companies who are brave or foolish enough to come to my aid. Perhaps you have too. This desire comes from a falsely-inflated sense of grandeur that being popular creates in the parts of our brain holding detailed instructions for doing the moron dance.
Whilst I firmly believe that there’s a place for personal outsourcing (I’ll cover the subject, including some companies I’ve tested, later this month), I’d like to suggest that everyone needs to retain direct email contact with friends, family, fans and customers for as long as they can.
If you’re wavering, one of the questions you should ask is the same one my girlfriend (often direct, never dishonest) fired at me when I was considering email outsourcery: Are you really too busy and too important to talk to people yourself?
The solution
The realisation that I could learn to comfortably filter my incoming mail, combined with the belief that anyone that contacts me who doesn’t want my bank details has surely earned my time in return, led me to seek other ways to manage email that didn’t involve palming it off on some poor hack in Hong Kong.
The question soon became not “who can make it better?” but “how can I manage it better?”
Today I’d like to share several solutions bundled in a single step: a buzz phrase I encourage you to spread that I shall simply dub Step Zero.
Articles on email management (including my own) often miss a step. They start by taking the hundreds of messages you receive every week at work and at play, and build a system to desperately filter, file and set fire to them in an attempt to keep your inbox empty.
It works well, but there’s a simple addition to help make life easier. To keep it cute, I’ll sum up the goal of Step Zero in just seven words: 
In this case, I’m defining actionable as replying to, phoning, or following-up that email with another human being. Reading, deleting, or archiving email that comes in doesn’t count as actionable for the purposes of this post.
What we’re going to do is reduce your incoming mail to only include the stuff that you actually need to flag and do something about. Sounds simple, doesn’t it? Make it happen, and you’ll suddenly find email becomes a breeze. Here’s how to do it.
Just smite it!
If Zeus had made running sandals, this is the motto he’d have used.
Your unwelcome email needs a good old-fashioned smiting to remind it who the one holding the lightning bolts is.
It happens in four stages of smiting, using the acronym ZEUS:
a) Zap The first step is to bring your existing inbox into shape. If you’re following Inbox Heaven, Inbox Zero, or a similar setup, you’ll probably have an empty inbox already. If not, check out those links and zap your inbox into shape, double time. Go ahead right now — I’ll sharpen the lightning while you do it.
b) Eradicate It’s time to get rid of those unwelcome pests. First up, those oddballs who forward bad jokes. Next time you get one, go to Stop Forwarding. It sends them an anonymous email for free that asks politely to stop being such an arse. Don’t be shy about it — if they annoy you, I’ve just given you the answer. Use it!
Remember those marketing emails from the dark agents of the cheese companies I was talking about? Turns out there’s a great way to stop those too. Check out the PR Spammers notice at pbwiki.com. I only found out about this a fortnight ago, but it’s already making a big difference for me.
Finally, if you’re getting problems with other types of spam in this day and age, something isn’t right. Spam protection is so smart that it’s ceased to be a problem for many. Since switching to Gmail, I’ve never had a problem with spam. Try it yourself if you haven’t yet — it’s free to signup.
c) Unsubscribe You know all those marketing emails you opted-in for to get free crap? It’s time to wave goodbye. If email marketing has its place, your inbox isn’t it. Unsubscribe from all your newsletters as they next come in. If you’re reluctant to get rid of certain mail-outs, then limit yourself to just three. (I only have one, from the Borneo Orangutan Foundation.)
The goal here is to eliminate the overhead — you’re trying to reduce the amount of mail that takes up your attention that you never take action on, so be ruthless.
d) Skim You should be used to filtering and actioning your email by now. You’ll probably find that there are certain messages you receive regularly that don’t require any action — you just skim them and delete or archive them. It’s time to skim off that nasty stuff on the top that you’re not using.
If there’s a type of message you regularly receive that never gets acted on, go to the source and make sure you don’t receive it again. (If you’re a blogger, comment notifications are a good example of this — I turn mine off and manage everything through the WordPress admin.)
Quick bonus tips
Remember: the goal is to reduce the amount of incoming email crap you receive. The section above should be all you need, but here are three extra pointers to make your smiting smarter.
1) Every mail you send should require action. This is simply good email karma. If you’re sending out mail that you don’t expect people to act on, stop. You’re just adding to the noise. Find another way to share links, or tell those jokes with a glass of wine, box of beer, or walk in the park.
2) Stop thinking of email as a virtual box and start thinking of it as an extension of your physical home or office. You wouldn’t let stray sales people or other uninvited guests wander into your home or workplace, would you?
3) Be careful where you post your email address. If you’re getting too much incoming mail that is actionable, you might find it’s because you’ve invited it. (This is the reason I don’t have a clear contact button on Put Things Off, but keep my contact details in the about page instead.)
Share yours and spread the word
Do you have a great way of reducing the amount of incoming mail you receive? Share it below. If you’ve enjoyed this post, I’d really appreciate it if you dugg it. Thanks!
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4 Jul 08
12:07
Joel Falconer
Hey Nick, good to see you writing about this again, as this topic is one of my personal favorites to write about over at Lifehack.org and Inbox Heaven was in fact the article of yours that got me subscribed to this blog. I probably spend more time talking about email productivity than I actually spend using it, but what the heck. It’s been fun. Keep it up!
4 Jul 08
23:07
Kotuku33
That stopforwarding.us thing is SUCH an amazing idea. You can bet I’ll be using that service! I am amazed at how many people I know massively send around crap. Thanks for sharing that.
5 Jul 08
09:07
Sunili
Ooh that stopfowarding site is GOLD! Sweet.
The unsubscribe thing scares me though. I have a “but I MIIIIGHT need in later” mentality about emails from event-promotion/ticketing and freecycle etc. Once a pack-rat, always a pack-rat :P
7 Jul 08
15:07
Tei - Rogue Ink
Every time you use the word ’smite’ in a blog title, the PTO kitten gets a little cuter. Just thought you should know.
I’m excited that you’re posting more often. Makes me all squidgy inside. Hurrah for lots o’ blog posts!
8 Jul 08
20:07
Hunter Nuttall
OMG, stopforwarding is better than sliced bread! I’m going to email everyone I know to tell them about it…oh, wait.
8 Jul 08
21:07
Niki Brown
I just unsubscribed from a bunch of email newsletters that I never read! Thanks for the stopforwarding link!
8 Jul 08
21:07
Ian Parker
Nick,
Great follow-up to the Inbox Heaven article. I’ve been using that for a bit now and am loving it, but you beat me to the punch on this topic.
I consider myself an e-mail minimalist and always have. I shudder when I see a co-worker or a friend with a mail client that is overflowing with folder upon nested folder of e-mail detritus. It’s quite sad… for them.
I will second your smiting suggestion because I know it works and others will appreciate it (unless they are hopeless hoarders of digital stuff, in which case, there are other issues to address first). I have managed to eradicate all of those who used to send me those hilarious forwards. Even so, the random rare one gets immediate action - to the trash bin.
I have managed to minimize spam by reducing the number of e-mail addresses I use overall, and also by going fairly silent with the publishing of any of my addresses. While a “spam catcher” address works for some people, I prefer to use SpamGourmet (http://www.spamgourmet.com/) if I need a geekily configurable throw away address.
However, I have not used SpamGourmet in a while either because I have begun to cull away those services which might be questionable with regards to my e-mail and personal information privacy. I get a lot less newsletters, but now I am rambling.
Action is key. Treat e-mail like a traditional “snail mail” service, and it can become much more tolerable. I also find that following the same style rules as a handwritten letter when writing an e-mail to family, friend, or colleague makes for a better experience, too. The recipient appreciates that you took time to capitalize and punctuate and wind up your letter in a proper manner, and often responds in kind. Doesn’t it feel better to receive a well-written letter instead of “ok thnx bye”.
It does to me, but I might be old-fashioned. If I write any more, you may add a word limit to the comments. Again, great post, and be well.
Ian
14 Jul 08
08:07
Shefaly
Excellent post. I am quite sure the people, to whom I sent that anon, polite message, do not read your blog. So I am safe ;-)
I agree re Gmail and spam totally. I am also unsubscribing from newsletters faster than I can spell ‘holy cow’. Any ideas how to get rid of the ones where ‘unsubcribe’ is a technical option but not an operational reality?
My tricks on email management are similar to how I manage snail mail:
1. Read and act (or add to to-do)
2. Read and file (or forward for action where it is a bcc or CYA type of mail)
3. Read and shred (or delete in case of email)